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If you’ve recently been the victim of an unfaithful spouse, you’ve probably been inundated with stories of couples who have reconciled and moved on with their lives. However well-meaning the tellers of these stories area, they often overlook the fact divorce is a better choice for some couples who’ve experienced adultery. Reviewing some of the most common issues with infidelity will help you organize your thoughts and proceed in a beneficial way with your divorce plans.
Violation of trust
Even with the best of intentions for reconciliation, you may find it difficult to trust a partner who’s cheated on you. Unfortunately, a matter of broken trust is about more than hurt feelings. Many spouses that have been cheated on realize that if their partner cheated once, it’s likely they will do so again. Rather than go through the upheaval associated with finding out all over again, they conclude that it is better to end the marriage.
Guilt and embarrassment
There’s no question that being cheated on can create an enormous number of self-esteem issues. Even if you believe that you’re an attractive person, you’re bound to wonder what your spouse saw in the other person. Chances are, if you stop and look at the words and feelings you’re aiming at your spouse, you’ll find that – at some level – you also blame yourself. If you’ve been cheated on, it’s crucial to seek psychological counseling in order to come to terms with these and other issues.
Wanting to commit to the other person
Interestingly enough, it’s not always the spouse that’s been cheated on that wants to end the marriage. In some cases, the partner that commits the infidelity may decide to pursue a new marriage to their lover. As can be expected, this can place an enormous emotional burden on the spouse that was cheated on to begin with.
Starting a new life
Regardless of which partner commits adultery, divorce offers both partners an opportunity to start a new life. Of course, the changes that come with getting a divorce aren’t easy to deal with, but it’s also important to keep in mind that once the divorce is finalized, you can start doing all of the things you never thought you’d be able to do within the confines of your marriage.
Fear of sexually transmitted diseases
When you’ve gone to the effort of getting married, you usually expect to be in a monogamous relationship for the rest of your life. Within that structure, you typically expect to be free from the risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Unfortunately, if your spouse cheats on you, there’s no way to guarantee that you won’t contract an STD from his or her new partner. For some people, this concern alone is enough to make them want to end the marriage, rather than risk a future of uncertainty.
Many people look at infidelity and a subsequent divorce as the worst disaster of their lives. However, if you can’t live with your partner because of infidelity, divorce may be the best option for you. In fact, if you look at divorce as the process that frees you from the limitations of a bad relationship, you may find that you’ll be better off than you were before the divorce.
*WARNING*
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