After the discovery of one spouse’s infidelity, it is normal that both spouses will go through a rough time in which they might suffer from depression, a deep sense of loss, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. The reactions following the initial disclosure are very much similar to the post-traumatic symptoms victims of catastrophic events suffer from. Other reactions after the discovery of infidelity include: an obsession with trying to know the reasons behind the affair; non-stop watching of signs of a new affair; flashback and intrusive, disturbing images; and a physiological hyper-arousal. The more unsuspecting and trust the spouse used to have, the more traumatized s/he becomes. Even the involved partner, while grieving for the lost dreams connected to the affair, might be frightened that his/ her punishment will be forever.
There are, however, good news, for many marriages survive after such a devastating disclosure. Therapists have even noticed that a large number of marriages can get stronger and closer after couples therapy. Ironically, although 90% of the people once surveyed said they strongly disapprove of extramarital relationships, nearly 15% of wives and 25% of husbands had committed infidelity at least once during their marriage. When counting sexual intimacies and emotional affairs, the percentage jumped to 20%.
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