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One of the major concerns after discovering a parent’s affair is the question of “what to tell the children”. Usually, if a child feels there is something wrong or abnormal going on at home, s/he starts to think immediately that the problem has something to do with him/ her. Therefore, and in order to prevent this emotional upheaval, a child has to be given some kind of explanation.
One way to go about this is when both parents sit with the children and tell them about the parent’s affair, assuring them that their parents are “working it out”. Therefore, telling the children should be about “when” and “how” and not about “whether”. Moreover, by telling them the truth about what is going on will at least teach them the importance of honesty.
Of course this honesty comes as an integral part of the honest talking bout sexual issues with the children. After all, we just want our children to develop into sexually responsible adults who do not fall under the deception of affairs. If a teenager hides his/ her sexual activity from the parents, s/he will probably have an affair in the future and will keep it as a secret from his/ her spouse. Thus, telling the children about a parent’s affair will prepare them to face the future and all the difficulties that come with intimate relationships.
To put it in a nutshell, there are no clear cut answers to what you should tell your child. A parent will have to make his/ her own decision at the end, keeping in mind the child’s present and future emotions and ideas.
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