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Did you know that infidelity is the marital problem most likely to lead to divorce? Above financial issues, family arguments, and general disagreements, infidelity is the one hot-button issue most likely to result in divorce. If you want to save your marriage, it’s going to be a big battle.

The first thing to do in the wake of infidelity is to ask yourself if you even want to save your marriage. This is a question that demands a lot of deep introspection. Ask yourself what your motives are behind any impulsive answer you have. If you immediately say “yes” to wanting to try to work things out and save your marriage, ask yourself, “why?” Are your reasons valid and good for your long-term interests? Or are they rooted in insecurities and fear? Are you afraid to be single and that’s why you want to work things out? If so, realize that it is the cheater who wins in the long-run because they will sense your true reasons for wanting to work things out and will know it gives them the green-light to cheat again in the future since you’re too weak to leave them.

Make sense?

Search deep inside and find your true reasons for why you do or do not want to save your marriage, and then examine if those reasons have merit. For instance, you might not want to save your marriage only because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do. That too is a questionable reason for deciding on a divorce. After all, now is not the time to worry about what other people think you should do, now is the time to worry about what you think you should do. Don’t let social norms influence your decision. This is a personal matter.

If you do decide that you want to try to work to save the marriage, you need to ascertain whether or not the cheating culprit is equally on-board. Are they genuinely sorry and deeply committing to restoring your marriage to the way it was on your honeymoon? Was the cheating incident a one-time, isolated mistake that they regret with the utmost level of sorrow? These would be good indicators that you have a chance to save your marriage.

However, if you sense that the cheater only wants to save the marriage to avoid the hassle of divorce, the embarrassment of having to come clean to family and friends that they were unfaithful to their wife, or because they’re simply just used to the comfort of being married to you, then you should question if this person is worth staying with.

So as you can see, there are two people’s motives that need to be examined here: yours and the cheater’s. I believe that the only chance you have at truly salvaging a happy, healthy marriage is when the cheater and the victim both truly, deeply, and genuinely want to save the marriage for reasons that are noble and healthy for all parties involved.

If you do decide to proceed with saving your marriage, check out Save My Marriage Today, a fabulous e-book product that can save you hundreds on divorce counseling.