In a loving relationship, every partner would take the other’s word as truth, for extramarital involvements would be out of the question, and truth would be a basic ingredient in their life. However, if such an intimate relationship is shattered by infidelity, the traumatized spouse (or partner) will be left to question everything that was previously trusted or depended on. No longer is her/ his life clear and their marriage starts losing its meaning. The more trust that person had and the more unsuspecting of anything foul, the more he/ she is tortured with suspicion after discovering infidelity. Paranoia creeps into the new life with acceptation of the reality of a partner’s deception.

This traumatic experience will go on until safety is established. The first step towards doing that is to stop the affair of the unfaithful partner, which includes not just the sexual intercourse but also ending all emotional and verbal intimacy. A betrayed spouse cannot start to heal unless all previous personal relationships are terminated.

Another major step towards regaining personal feelings of security is to know all the details of such an affair, for the wall of deception and secrecy has to be pulled down. By seeking the truth behind an act of infidelity, the couple can start to understand the individual and relationship vulnerabilities that led to it, giving themselves the chance to restart a more intimate marriage than before.

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