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To begin to understand the common causes of infidelity, it is important to take a truly sincere look at some of the primary differences in the motivating desires of human males and females. To view humanity objectively, as though a scientist studying a unique species found in nature and analyzing the behavior patterns specific to that species, is an insightful way to approach the subject. It more easily lends itself to an impartial and non-judgmental honesty that is more likely to reveal genuine insight and simultaneously subdue any personally defensive postures that might otherwise inhibit the purity of the observational data. Both male and female desire a loving partner who cares for them. The differences are more primarily in the genetic programming for procreation of the species. That said, let’s step into our virtual lab and really look at the differences between what men and women innately desire in a relationship and also what is necessary for these innate desires to cooperate to form a healthy, lasting relationship.

The human female:
The human female generally desires a human male with long lasting stability, usually financial, and prefers him to have some degree of social power. This is most likely based on a nesting instinct to ensure that her offspring will be nurtured to a healthy adulthood so her genetic mission of procreation will be fulfilled. She may desire a physically attractive man, but this is not at all the primary focus of an adult human female. She is, preferably, looking for a male with a very established nest in which to begin cultivating children. She is generally looking for a long term financial provider who will take care of her and her children for many years to come. It may sometimes seem that it is all about money, but long term consistency and stability is really best for what the human female primarily seeks. Something else that may come as a surprise to many human males is that the female actually prefers a male who blends well into society rather than one who stands out.

The human male:
The human male also generally desires something long lasting. The difference is that the human male primarily desires a female that will be attractive, emotionally supportive, and sexually satisfying for the long term. The innate desire for a physically attractive female is likely the fulfillment of the male’s genetic mission, essentially equivalent to the female’s desire for financial stability. In simple terms, the female is looking for a wealthy and affluent male, while the male is looking for an attractive and sexually gratifying female. Both are satisfying a genetic mission. If a human male’s sexual needs are not met, he will likely not be as effective in providing the long term financial stability the female innately desires him to. In certain circumstances, he may be driven to fulfill his sexual needs with another female.

It’s pretty simple, really. It isn’t so far off of what genetically drives other primate species. If you want your husband or boyfriend to stay faithful and give you what you need, then make sure you are doing the same. Lastly, never try to use what he desires to control him, as it will inevitably poison your relationship. This is a clinical look into the honest reality of human relationships; hopefully understanding your partner a little better will help to create a healthy and fulfilling relationship for both of you.

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