Don't Become Another Divorce Statistic! You can save your relationship. Learn how!

“Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love, though I’d stepped in it a few times.” –Rita Rudner

So you think that the person you just broke up with is the only one who could ever understand you - the person you were meant to be with forever and ever and now you will never have another chance. Give yourself 2 months to mope, 4 months to party, and 6 months from now you’ll most likely have met the next love of your life.

My good friend, photographer, and artist, Jason once told me “All your relationships are bound to fail until you’re married.” Another friend added, “…and even then it’s not necessarily going to succeed.” But let’s stay upbeat and take Jason’s perspective. Like Rita Rudner said in the quote above, all those failed relationships that you stepped in are just like dog crap on the ground. They’re just a way to teach you what to avoid. In some way, each of them was wrong. Why were they wrong? Because you’re not together now, are you? If they didn’t want to stay with you, then they were wrong for you. Why do you want to be with them? If you broke up with them, then they were wrong for you. Why do you want to be with them?

But how do you get from the pain and loneliness of today to 6 months down the road when you do meet that special someone?

One way I tried to drown out my sorrow was to try to find someone new. I went out night after night, and trust me, I was successful. Sometimes I go on 3 different dates with 3 different men in one weekend. I went through them like napkins. I think I misinterpreted Thoreau when he wrote “There is no remedy for love but to love more.” The problem was, I didn’t like any of them. None of them was fulfilling the loneliness I felt, because there was no basis. There was no friendship to build these casual relationships on.

We all had things in common, but each encounter lacked something. I’m not sure what it was. One guy was nice, romantic, polite, and domestic, but I just wasn’t attracted to him. One was attractive and I connected well with him, but he was 5 years younger than me and just didn’t know enough about life. One was attractive and intelligent and we could converse well, but he smoked cigarettes, drank alcohol like the Saharan desert would drink up water, and occasionally smoked marijuana - not the ideal match for a future Anesthesiologist. What I found, in the end, was that my friends brought me the most joy in my life. Just being with them, talking to them, and laughing - even complaining about men together. My friends also reminded me of how great I was.

At one point, I was dating a DJ who did not have enough time with me. My friends never liked the chain-smoker from the beginning. “Here you are, a beautiful model and medical student, and you’re moping about some horse-face,” one of my friends told me. They felt he looked like a horse. Now, they refuse to let me date anyone they think is beneath me. “He has to be better than the two of us combined,” Tammy and Christina tell me. It’s a good gauge to go by. Why spend your time with someone who isn’t going to appreciate you and make you at least as happy as your friends do?

So, you don’t need to be in a hurry to find that next person any time soon. They’ll come along. For the time being, surround yourself with friends. If you don’t have any, find some. It’s not hard. Find someone of the same sex who is single or who recently got out of a bad relationship, and then ask them if they want to go to a movie or get dinner together. I know, you don’t want them to get the wrong idea and think that you’re hitting on them. Well, then just tell them the truth “I just got out of a relationship with this guy/girl and I’m looking for someone to hang out with.” Then, you will have someone to talk to and to hang out with, and also someone who will keep you from dating a horse-face.

“Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.” –Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

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