After you caught your partner cheating on you, you would probably be asking this question – Can I forgive my partner? If you do, this is a good sign that somewhere deep down within you, you are trying to forgive your partner for their wrongdoings. This is a reasonable conclusion because if forgiveness is not part of the equation, this question wouldn’t come to your mind and both of you could move on, forgetting about each other.
Some of us would think that forgiving someone who has cheated on you is hard. However, let’s look at things in this perspective. Have you forgiven your sibling who broke you toys when you were a kid? Have you forgiven your parents for not letting you attend that rave party you always wanted to go to? Forgiving something is always the same, regardless of the context. Furthermore, forgiveness is not just about forgiving what the person has done, but it is also something you should do for yourself. A teaching in the Holy Bible indicates that we should not hold grudge against someone after sunset. This is basically telling us to always forgive others because hating someone and holding grudges is equally damaging to yourself and your partner.
The next step to forgiving infidelity is to look deep into your partner to see is there any sign of remorse for the wrongdoings. This is important because while you are trying to forgive your partner, if your partner acts as if nothing happened and it is your duty to forgive the wrongdoings, then something is very wrong here. This is a sign indicating that you can expect another cheating from your partner soon enough. If you partner does indeed feel remorse and wanted to make up what they have done, then this is a good sign for you to take a further step.
Everyone and anyone would feel remorse because the ability to differentiate right from wrong is genetically programmed onto us by the Creator. Therefore, having the sign of remorse does not necessarily mean you could forgive your partner straightaway. If you do not find out the problem as to why you partner cheated on you, the cheating could happen again. By considering the cause of the cheating, you could potentially deduce whether is your partner trustworthy and cheating would never again happen in the future. This would be reassuring if you understand the cause of the cheating as there is more room for both of you to make sure this wouldn’t happen again in the future.
It’s always not as easy as putting pen on paper (in this case finger on keyboard) when it comes to forgiveness. However, it would always be useful to think of a time when you did something bad and the person you hurt forgave you for it. Remember the gift of forgiveness and perhaps it’s the time for you to share this gift with someone else.
Having said the above, it is equally for you to remember that whilst forgiveness is a wonderful gift, if forgiving your partner would still cause serious harm (physical or mental) to you, you should really consider making the right decision for leaving your partner to protect yourself, be it a temporary break up or a permanent one.
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