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Emotional affairs begin at the emotional level.
OK, I know, no big insight there, right?
But I make that incredibly obvious observation to make this point – most people do not start out with the intention of starting an emotional affair.
Emotional affairs sneak up on you. Each step in the process shoots you just a little further down the slippery slope to a place you never thought you would be.
Cross that boundary or not?
The issue here is that at each step, there is a clear choice – cross that boundary or not.
When it comes to sharing intimate emotions with someone, we have a big boundary issue here folks. There are some emotions that you keep to yourself and/or to a few intimate others. Sharing these emotions quickly bond you to a person.
It starts off innocently enough. You find you like someone as a friend and tell yourself that is all it is – a friend.
Then this friend begins to tell you about some of his/her struggles in life, and you begin to share some of yours. At first you may just feel sorry for this person and want to try to help.
Pretty soon, you realize you feel really comfortable with this person, they really seem to understand you, and you are telling them things you have never told anyone.
Without really intending to or even realizing it, you have begun to bond with and feel an attachment to this other person.
“What’s wrong with that?”
“What’s wrong with this?” you might say.
”I’m just trying to help this person out.”
“I just wanna get someone else’s perspective on my problems, that’s all.”
And you know what? There is nothing wrong with wanting to help someone out, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to get someone else’s perspective on a problem.
People do this every day with no problem(s) at all.
The problem begins when you begin to develop feelings and emotions, thoughts, wonderings, and fantasies that you would not ever normally develop in other situations.
About the Author:
For more strategies and tips for recovery and prevention of emotional affairs, you can pre-order the brand new e-book “Your Emotional Affair: The Ultimate Guide to Recovery and Prevention” at http://www.YourEmotionalAffair.com From relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
Tag: Emotional Affair
[tags]Emotional Affair, Relationship Advice, Recovering from Affair, Surviving Infidelity[/tags]
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