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If your husband/wife, significant other, boyfriend, or girlfriend confessed that she/he is a sex addict and is having sex with others, none of whom she/he loves—what do you do? Do you cut your losses and move on, do you accept his/her need for sex with others, or can the issue be resolved?
If she/he says she/he will never cheat again, this is his/her deepest hope or wish and not the solution. Although she/he will claim she/he only loves you and the other persons were just objects, she/her has little concept of what love entails. Can she/he ever be faithful?
The bottom line is, NO. So don’t trust his/her words - only trust his/her actions. When someone cheats, the cheating is NOT the problem, cheating is an ineffective solution to a deeper issue. Cheaters are usually men or women, who are sexual or physical abuse survivors and they are using cheating as a way to cope, to numb or distract themselves from the emotional pain. Frequently, the cheater is seeking a similar experience to the pain they endured as a child. Unbeknownst to them, they are creating the moth to the flame scenario. In other words, she/he will tell you she/he will never cheat on you again, but when it comes to it she/he will cheat because she/he can’t help her/himself. It is a compulsion that she/he can not stop. This compulsion solves the internal pain if only for a brief period albeit at the peril of losing a relationship. However, since the internal pain is beyond their ability to override its excruciating effect, they can not merely stop their compulsion to engage in an emotional and/or sexual affair.
Healing emotional issues for anyone who has an emotional and/or sexual affair—no matter the reason—is possible. An innovative and highly effective process to achieve deeper and more total healing can be achieved through healing mind, body and spirit. This process is direct, focused, and combines healing the past while creating the future. You will make a subtle and effective transition to self-discovery and empowerment.
Healing emotional issues at the core addresses the all-important relationship to one’s true nature. Transforming the psychological conditional patterns and unconscious beliefs that arise from our personal histories and adaptations effectively transforms our mind, body and spirit.
Thus, you transform how you feel, sense, and experience global political mass consciousness, as well as your individual consciousness, like never before. A Mind, Body, Spirit approach addresses the three critical aspects of one’s being, therefore opening the door to true balance and emotional healing.
Well-being comes from the understanding of the Self, the family, the local community in which we live, and the global community of which we are a part. We are each one heart of the Whole; each heart here to express its unique piece of the Whole. Knowing Self creates a sense of “I as a piece of this Whole,” different and one at the same time.
About the Author:
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, “If I’d Only Known…Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life’s challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net
Tag: Affair Recovery
[tags]Affair Recovery, Surviving Infidelity[/tags]
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