Don't Become Another Divorce Statistic! You can save your relationship. Learn how!

Are you a man who enjoys having a drink after work with a female colleague? Are you a woman who shares her secrets with a male friend or colleague? If you are married and you do share a close friendship with the opposite sex, then your behavior is probably described as “unfaithful”.

You cannot fool yourself and pretend that you can have both a great friendship with the opposite sex at work and with your spouse at home at the same time. This is because such a friendship can lead to emotional infidelity.

In order to avoid being labeled with emotional infidelity, you should do the following:

1) Keep the work in the office.
2) Try not to meet your colleagues from the opposite sex alone outside the office.
3) Try to have your meetings outside the office in groups.
4) Don’t share your personal feelings and problems.
5) Try not to provide regular conversations regarding your life outside the office.
6) Avoid hugs, kisses and dances with the opposite sex, even if they are innocent or cordial.
7) Work hard to show your commitment to your spouse daily.
8 Be honest with yourself.
9) Don’t drink with coworkers from the opposite sex.
10) Try to evade and/ or end personal conversations politely.

In order to pass the phase right after discovering infidelity, both spouses have to start evaluating their situation. They have to move beyond blaming each other and start accepting their responsibilities.

Love between spouses should be evaluated through efforts and not emotions. Thus, even if emotions are in turmoil after an act of infidelity, hope to restore the marriage is there, for it will be based on the effort to save that marriage.

Another very important part in the process of healing is understanding the difference between “mature” and “immature” love. “Being in love” is, therefore, different than the excitement and strong pleasure of “falling in love”. If one does not understand the difference, infidelity will become an answer to finding a new “falling in love” through finding a new partner. Such an immature love is also alluring because it comes with no commitments or responsibilities.

When a person gets involved in an extramarital relationship, s/he has to pay attention to the fact that marriage is more complex, for it includes the mundane and various unattractive aspects of everyday life. In an affair, things seem more ideal and much easier. This is why only 10% of the people who had an affair stay with their extramarital partner.

It is probably difficult to terminate an extramarital affair, but we have to remember that rebuilding a marriage gives us more satisfactory results at the end. In addition, it comes with permanence, shared experiences and deep love. We, moreover, have to remember that satisfaction associated with marriage does not only come from the realization of that satisfaction; it stems from what you can do and offer to your spouse.

In the eyes of other people, I had everything: clothes, an impressive house and a great marriage. But mine was not a real home, it was just a great house filled with hopelessness and feelings of betrayal.

To be frank with you, my husband is a pornography addict. He is rarely at home, and when he comes, he is not really here. His spending on those magazines and books far exceeds spending on me. I can no more feel that he cares about me like a husband should do. I am no more a priority in his life, but those terrible articles and books are. I have tried to change this but I have always failed.

Since I have known about my husband’s addiction to pornography, I have had no choice but to accept that status quo. I could never discuss this problem with my friends or family. This addiction consumed him totally and controlled him.

But I have decided not to give up on him and our marriage. I will try giving it another shot. I am not sure that I will succeed but at least, I will know that I was not easily defeated.